Positive frames that work!

Often we get triggered by who other people act, by what they perceive, believe and choose. Humans, put simply, can be infuriating. Frustrating. Exhausting. Weak. Ignorant. And stupid. But they can also be compassionate, brilliant, insightful, wise, resilient, amazing, light-shining, heart-lit, kind and intelligent, soul-beautiful, joy-bringing, song-singing, illuminating and abundant in goodness, generosity and laughter like a bubbling fountain or an Island Waterfall. Even the ones who are in the former category - those one who really try our patience - usually have SOME good in them. And we can usually locate something in their personal history - or imagine. it - that helps us be more compassionate toward where they have gotten glazed over with ignorance, violence, harmful perceptive filters or bitterness that closes them off from their innate goodness. Even when that fails, we can always consider those who are good at being bad a great opportunity to wake up and more fully dedicate ourselves to life-honoring practices in our own spirits and to taking action in the world to nurture compassion, joy, love, kindness, generosity, policy and environmental interconnectivity in ways that nurture the good in our lives. Altruism heals; resentment kills. Giving with a joyful heart gives the giver life! In some cases we are viewing some who triggers us because of the politics they hold or the way they treat others or other groups of people and we don't like it. Sometimes it's someone closer to home or in our home. In both situations we need to discern between people with a conscience and those operating apart from a conscience. We need not waste any breath on those operating without any conscience. Yet many with a sensitive conscience can actually act like narcissists or behave without a lot of compassion because to be in touch with their conscience is so overwhelming and guilt inducing that they shut it down. These people often can come out of their shell beautifully when we make it safe for them to do so by being very gentle, focusing on the good in them and the good they do, as well as avoiding criticism. We can process our own emotions in other ways or with other people until that person is strong enough in the own self-esteem to hear our tender or difficult emotions without feeling destroyed by them due to their own very sensitive nature and paralyzing reactions to the experience of guilt, shame or over-responsibility, which has nothing to do with us. With many people, we have options for what we focus on. I once stopped at a traffic light and noticed a brilliant rainbow in the distance. I was so absorbed in it I sat grinning at the traffic light until it went green. I looked at a picture I took later and noticed that all around was pavement, strip malls, more concrete and drab gray skies. In the picture the rainbow isn't even that big. But my focus was on it, so all I experienced was wonder and joy. This is what it means to choose a positive frame.

Let's define "positive."

1. It is compassionate
2. It focuses on elements that engender optimistic, loving feelings while maintaining discernment
3. It is helpful

1. - A compassionate way of seeing a person, a group of people or a situation - whether professional, political or global empowers you to feel connected to almost all people, even those who are very different. A compassionate frame increases your health and longevity.

2. It focuses on elements that engender optimistic, loving feelings while maintaining discernment, which means you are rooted in your own integrity and you no longer bite when you are baited. You see attempts to manipulate you using your own kindness or love-centric values and you wish those people well and focus your energy only where it is aligned. You forgive those the who crucify that which is pure because of their ignorance, but you also don't give them your time, energy or money. You can be innocent as a dove and as shrewd as a serpent. You can call a spade a spade and use the head and heart Creator gave you to know when to lay down your life for your friends and when to brush the dust off and move along to invest your life energy where it is likely to impactful and where the seeds you plant have the best chance to find fertile soil. You see through schemes to use your own values to co-opted you into an agenda that looks like a fancy cafe au lait on the outside and is a cup filled with camel spit when you look closer at the foam. So you recognize that people who are misguided are not evil and you wish them well. When you think of them, you remember them kindly - think of at least something good about them. Yet you withdraw your energy from anyone or anything toxic or non-aligned to your True Life. You dismiss attempts to rope you into another's narrative when that narrative limits, disempowers, guilt-trips or manipulates you in any way. You put your energy where it feels potent, joyous and GOOD! You pray for those who persecute you and you bless all without exception and you excuse yourself from any role someone else designed for you that do not fit your soul.

3. A frame is helpful when it both helps you feel good and it guides you to aligned and useful action that produces healthy results that affirm your quality of life now and empower the values you hope people will remember you for when you're gone. A frame is helpful when you feel like you can be the person you want to be and you are immune to being manipulated by those who would use your own goodness as a weapon against you. A frame is helpful when it lets you be kind without pidgeon holing you into doing something others think you should do, and when it allows you to discern your own path without condemning you non-conformity to someone else's idea of who you should be or what "goodness" needs to look like in your life. Your own "goodness" compass is operating and allowing you access the love that you are in ways that let you translate that love into divine action in the world with a clean, brilliant and empowered conscience.