I am a both/and kind of woman.

It's no different when it comes to ordering quiche than when someone asks me some false dichotomy question, like would you rather be compassionate or wise, soft or strong, beautiful or intelligent - or would you rather solve X global crisis or Y. I also like third alternatives. If I can't have my both/and on a particular issue, I will accept a third or 84,00th alternative if its sings right.

One particular day last week - and I forget which one - I went to The Madison Chocolate Co. Their logo looks like female anatomy melded with sacred geometry, and although I've now confirmed any similarity is completely unintentional - at least consciously - the intention IS conscious to provide a environment that is empowering to female entrepreneurs across the globe and to saturate the space with joy, love, fun, beauty, lavender lattes and chocolates from around the world. The coffee beans are sourced from a women's cooperative in Columbia, if I am not mistaken. It's a great spot to enjoy high vibes and local friendly welcome with a touch of posh.

I hadn't been in a little bit, as I've made coffee a little more o a "special occasions" only kind of thing recently. There is enough "amped up" ness in teh air without it, as much as I adore anything caffeinated with that deep, intense, creamy, aroma, served hot in a mug, whose heat I can feel, sip, by slow sip. Tea just isn't the same. But I digress.

On this particular outing, I got the nudge around 11am, and I felt aligned to order a slice of warm quiche. I'm newly off a strict "no refined carbs" phase and enjoying a little more indulgence during the colder months. The Chocolate Co makes a REALLY yummy gluten-free quiche. The young man working behind the counter stepped down from a tall latter where he was doing something with picture frames, and asked how he could help me. When I asked for the quiche, he said that he broccoli only or mushroom and broccoli. Being a both/and kind of person, I of course requested "both." The young man came back moments later, head down, and apologetically informed me they didn't have the one with both - they'd run out. I told him not to worry about it. He then retrieved for me a complimentary truffle (I choose vanilla) and I told him I was in heaven, and that really, I didn't actually care about having both broccoli and mushrooms in my quiche as in manifesting heaven AND earth. He agreed. At that moment, the lovely owner appeared and mentioned that she had been manifesting ME. She said, "You haven't been in for a while, right? Usually when I set an intention and I tell someone, it happens." I smiled and told her that yes, I'd gotten the message, in the form of a nudge to come on over. At first when she realized I was the one who'd ordered the quiche they didn't have, she looked slightly crestfallen too - but when I told her I got what I REALLY wanted - two or more gathered around a shared intention of creating heaven AND earth - vanilla truffle included, we all celebrated with shared joy, smiles and good vibes together. It was the sweetest disappointment. And I got my third alternative.

Believe it or not there is more life than quiche and chocolate. There is also skipping in the woods with your child who, once diagnosed as "on the spectrum" could barely stay on a stool without falling off. There is watching your child who used to throw tantrums for hours become a responsible, authoritative, caring, amazing pet "Mama." And there is allowing your teenager to discover life on her own terms, trusting that, while not perfect, you've done a "good enough" just to empower her wings to be her OWN awesome self. These are just examples from my life. How about yours?

If you are struggling as a parent dealing with intense, sensitive, gifted, challenging or just amazing beyond what you know how to handle kids, there is an online offering just for you. This is NOT for parents who want to handle behavior without doing  their own transformation work. It's not about telling you what to do. It's about helping helping become the kind of person who knows what to do, and knows how to clean up when you mess up. Awesomeness includes humility - you don't have to be perfect! It's about giving you the inner clarity and the skills to navigate your way successfully, even when the unexpected comes up and smacks you in the face. It's about helping you achieve your own miracles so you can have your quiche and eat it too. The truth is, owning your own challenges and diving beneath the struggles to the innocence of WHO YOU REALLY ARE and what you're here to give will help you parent your child so they can release their own authentic selves into the world - awesomely.

If you are interesting in cultivating your ability to be YOU, awesomely,  and to raise (awesome) humans, my first ever course is available at unicornacademy.thinkific.com

The other day I got to model a cute organic fair trade dress at Servv, meditate by the water and eat delicious food with my family. I also got to discuss the intersectionality of building a local bamboo or hemp textile industry with potential indoor growing with creating local jobs, especially for people coming out of incarceration - feeding two birds with one worm - with a young woman of color, and the power of giving oneself permission to be complete with an experience from the inside out with an older white woman. The latter conversation stemmed from her offering me sample chocolate, which I declined. I told her I'd already had my chocolate quota. She was surprised. She asked if I had a specific amount I allow myself. I said, "No, it's more like I've eaten almost nothing but chocolate for two days and my body says, "I'm done." I then told her about a woman I met years ago who asked for relationship advice, as she kept landing in bed with someone who wasn't very good for her. I told her to allow herself to enjoy it until she no longer wanted it. A couple of years later she found me at a potluck and said, "I took your advice and it worked. I gave myself permission to enjoy it until I didn't want it anymore and then when I was done I was done. I didn't go back." The white woman in the store translated this story like this: "It's so important for us to learn to trust ourselves internally, especially when it comes to leaving abusive relationships."

It all started in the dressing room, after a delicious family meal downtown at Shortstack. I had just put on this adorable organic, fair trade dress and emerged from the changing stall. As I walked out from the curtains, two cops thought I was the store manager. Tithout thinking, I naturally gravitated to their energy. I didn't know they had just asked for the manager at the front desk of Servv. One black cop, one white. Both cool guys.

Since we live in a racist state and there is much polarization around "do you love black people or do you love cops" I particularly love moments of grace with black cops because it ends the duality. So this black officer starts saying, "I'm officer so and so and I want to ask you a few questions. First of all, are you planning on being open for freakfest?” I DO fly my freak flag high, but I am not an employee at Servv. I mean, cosmically, yeah, but…well, you know. So I said, "I don't work here" and all of a sudden the woman who works the register whose known me peripherally for years says, "Oh she can see your energy so that's why she walked right toward you."

I said, "I can just tell you are both awesome human beings and it just makes me really happy when I meet people who work in MPD who embody love and truth and justice." He hugs me.

The woman working at the register told me, "That looks like it was made for you! You could just walk out in it." I jokingly offered to model it in exchange for walking away with it. Before I knew it a beautiful, radiant woman of color was telling me to do a little spin before she took my pic, while she took a short video clip. In a jiffy, I undid the clip to the tag on my dress, brough it over to the register where my husband was happily yucking it up with the woman who called out my vibe reading on the officers. Soon the real manager emerged and offered me chocolate. You already know the rest - it's herstory.

And while we're on the topic of chocolate...not all chocolate is created equal. The pure stuff without additives, sustainably harvested and cultivated humanely tastes wayyy better! As a parent, I've taught my kids to taste and feel the difference, and as a result they taste junk and think it's gross!

After we left Servv, my family and I were drawn in multiple directions. My husband and kids wanted to go to the dog park and I wanted to meditate by the water. So instead of anything sacrificing anything, I went across the street to meditate and befriend a duck, while my crew went to the dog park, where they had a lovely time!