A girl named Ginger

I love when you just do things you know are right without thinking. That's how it was with the ginger tea. Small decisions are often complicated for me, exactly because I am acutely aware of the butterfly effect and how the tiniest shift of action can hange the course of just about anything. If I'm up in my head too much, I lose faith and put pressure on myself.

When I'm in the flow, I just get to watch myself do things, while experiencing them, and they turn out so brilliantly when its inspired rather than overthought. I don't being undisciplined or irresponsible. I mean practicing the kind of discipline that makes in the moment "right" decisions natural.

I ordered the ginger tea with a confidence that often eludes when it comes to small decisions, and immediately sat down at a small circular table next to a couple who seemed to be working something out rather amicably. Just before I headed out, while looking for my planner, a copy of The Sophia Code cropped up unexpectedly from between my sheets and my plush stuffed turtle. I gave away a copy recently and thought it was my last one. The Sophia Code is after all, my very most favorite book. Being a living transmission, I was not terribly surprised it showed itself at that particular moment. So there I sat or a few moments remember who I am.

I happened to look up and see a little girl, perhaps 7 at the moment, gliding around in her heelies. I smiled. She skated around me in a circle as if the coffee shop were an ice rink and I were that center circle saved for spinning during public skates. I had just posted a link to a beautiful performance by Canadian figure skater Elledj. I used to figure skate competitively, and I haven't watched a full-length program of a figure skater in fifteen years. Watching Elledj was like watching liquid light. And now I was graced with the joy of a girl in pink heelies. "Will you get dizzy if I skate around you?" she asked me. "No, I'll be happy, because it makes me happy to see you happy," I replied. She grinned and kept skating. A while later she came over and struck up a conversation. "Sometimes I do things I think are funny but the grownups don't think it's funny." "Yeah, that happens sometimes," I said. "Especially when grownups are stressed out. Adults sometimes need help remembering how to have fun." The little girl nodded. "That's true." she said. I went on, "Sometimes other people don't laugh at my jokes, but I figure if I laugh at theme its good enough." She replied, "Good point," and went on to tell me this joke about the post office.

"What three words start with p and have a million letters?" I scratched my head feeling pretty out of touch. "The Post Office!" It took me a moment to get it - I'm a little slow at times to get certain types of jokes. Other times I'm the quick witted one and others are slow to get mine.

"What color is the sky?" asked the little girl staring at me intently.  I responded, "All the colors of the rainbow but you can only see blue because of the way the light is filtered." "Which way is down?" I replied, "There is no such thing as down because it's all a matter of perspective." She told me another joke about a hot air balloon that blows up. I reimagined it and said, "How about we go up in the hot air balloon for a really awesome ride instead?" She said that sounded nicer. I asked what her name was and she told me it was Virgina. "But what do go by?" Her dad quieried, having come alongside the girl. "Ginger." I smiled and asked her if she happened to know what type of tea I ordered. She shook her head. "Ginger," I said, smiling. "What do you know?"

Later, after Ginger and her dad left, the man from the couple seated next to me asked if I was now considering getting myself a pair of heelies. "I'm seriously considering it," said. "I used to be a figure skater, but good skates are so expensive I basically don't skate anymore." His partner said, "I'm a figure skater too! Well, I used to be." They told me of a good spot to skate and inspired me to be on the lookout for a pair of gently used decent skates. It's so funny. When I posted that video of Elledj, I thought about my younger self, the self who was talented but also unhappy. I honestly don't know how I survived my childhood. But somehow I still skated with soul. I still got to skate with amazing people. I got to skate with my heroes, Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergi Grinkov, and I got Oksana Baul's lessons in the am sometimes when she had a hangover when she was struggling. But it competition I often blew it under pressure. I got so nervous I just  hurled my body into air and left it. Leaving a body unattended middair is not recommend. The crash when you land sucks, but then you also have to get up instantly, paste a smile on your face and your hurl your body into the air again after pulling off a few interum graceful movements and working up some momentum. Good times. Well, okay, not really.I have so much understanding for my younger self. She is my hero. The amount of pain, pressure and tension she dealt with from multiple fronts is really not what you wish for a kid, but she was super brave and she did it for me. I used to write letters to my future self. I was a trooper and I never quit at life even after I quit skating because of her resilience. She gave me me. And in her honor, I decided, maybe just may I should try skating happy. I can't think of a better tribute to the kid who didn't give up, for me.